Comfortably, Uncomfortable!

Comfortably, uncomfortable defines marriages in which both partners are not taking part in the 'union' of the marriage. Both partners (whether in denial or not) are both cognisant that the marriage is at a steady decline. They have made excuses in order to keep the marriage together. The excuses can involve children, financial reasons, acquaintances, lifestyle, etc. There is also no more intimacy or passion in the marriage. Partners start to notice that as time goes on the marriage becomes more mundane and scripted. You kiss when you come home (or not), you might eat at a certain time, you may still go out but both of you know its not the same. One main time of year that is hard for hopeless marriages would have to be the holidays. I am certain there is a period of time that each partner thinks about the other and really asks themselves; how many more Christmas' are we going to pretend that we are in bliss? How many years will we continue to put on this fasad that we are really together and in love when we are not?
The idea of marriage gives people the comfort of being loved, needed, taken care of, respected and a whole host of other feelings of unity. People go through their whole lives with the goal in mind that they are destined to get married. But how do these individuals define marriage beyond the legality? Couples assume that when they get married you will be issued a marriage handbook and life will be grand. However, it is up to the COUPLE themselves to define their own marriage.
Perhaps that is where marriage can begin to decline? People start trying to live their lives like other couples because of outside advice. When in fact other couples invovle OTHER people who are different and relate to their partner different than you might.
Another factor that people do not realize until it is too late is that PEOPLE DO NOT CHANGE, people can mature and take on new ideas and information and maybe they will be open minded. But if you met your man at a bar and he was an alcoholic then, chances are that you might not be able to change that individual into a church going saint. It is great to see that people try to be non biased and non prejudicial when they are meeting their partners, but perhaps you need to be more rigid with your requirements. There are a lot of important things about a person (like their family history) that cannot seem too critical in the beginning stages but then comes to light at a crucial part of the relationship. If your husband does not have a good relationship with his mother and is very disrespectful towards her, chances are he will not have too good of an example to learn from and he will then treat you as he treats the most important woman in his life!
The fear of admitting you are unsuccessful is another reason why couples stay together. They don't want to admit that their relationship they've worked so hard for did not work out. The idea of dealing with the pain from separation is SO heavy that people do not want to be alone. The key word in the previous sentence is THE IDEA! It is merely an idea that people will be in SO MUCH PAIN that they will not be able to function alone. Now, what about the pain that you experience everyday? What about the pain that you feel knowing that this investment will not get any better and everyday your soul becomes more weak? What about the anxiety you feel when you get home?
Are people taking the "Until death do us part," a little too literal? They have figured that the relationship is not working out, but they will stay with that person just because?
I would like to have some feedback in regards to this article. I have also created a blog. I am curious what people feel in regards to this subject and I am looking for feedback about marriages that are HOPELESS.