Comfortably, Uncomfortable!

Comfortably, uncomfortable defines marriages in which both partners are not taking part in the 'union' of the marriage. Both partners (whether in denial or not) are both cognisant that the marriage is at a steady decline. They have made excuses in order to keep the marriage together. The excuses can involve children, financial reasons, acquaintances, lifestyle, etc. There is also no more intimacy or passion in the marriage. Partners start to notice that as time goes on the marriage becomes more mundane and scripted. You kiss when you come home (or not), you might eat at a certain time, you may still go out but both of you know its not the same. One main time of year that is hard for hopeless marriages would have to be the holidays. I am certain there is a period of time that each partner thinks about the other and really asks themselves; how many more Christmas' are we going to pretend that we are in bliss? How many years will we continue to put on this fasad that we are really together and in love when we are not?
The idea of marriage gives people the comfort of being loved, needed, taken care of, respected and a whole host of other feelings of unity. People go through their whole lives with the goal in mind that they are destined to get married. But how do these individuals define marriage beyond the legality? Couples assume that when they get married you will be issued a marriage handbook and life will be grand. However, it is up to the COUPLE themselves to define their own marriage.
Perhaps that is where marriage can begin to decline? People start trying to live their lives like other couples because of outside advice. When in fact other couples invovle OTHER people who are different and relate to their partner different than you might.
Another factor that people do not realize until it is too late is that PEOPLE DO NOT CHANGE, people can mature and take on new ideas and information and maybe they will be open minded. But if you met your man at a bar and he was an alcoholic then, chances are that you might not be able to change that individual into a church going saint. It is great to see that people try to be non biased and non prejudicial when they are meeting their partners, but perhaps you need to be more rigid with your requirements. There are a lot of important things about a person (like their family history) that cannot seem too critical in the beginning stages but then comes to light at a crucial part of the relationship. If your husband does not have a good relationship with his mother and is very disrespectful towards her, chances are he will not have too good of an example to learn from and he will then treat you as he treats the most important woman in his life!
The fear of admitting you are unsuccessful is another reason why couples stay together. They don't want to admit that their relationship they've worked so hard for did not work out. The idea of dealing with the pain from separation is SO heavy that people do not want to be alone. The key word in the previous sentence is THE IDEA! It is merely an idea that people will be in SO MUCH PAIN that they will not be able to function alone. Now, what about the pain that you experience everyday? What about the pain that you feel knowing that this investment will not get any better and everyday your soul becomes more weak? What about the anxiety you feel when you get home?
Are people taking the "Until death do us part," a little too literal? They have figured that the relationship is not working out, but they will stay with that person just because?
I would like to have some feedback in regards to this article. I have also created a blog. I am curious what people feel in regards to this subject and I am looking for feedback about marriages that are HOPELESS.

The Faux Reality

Let's start ground up
We must realize that change entails action

A lot of us have become victim to the; lights, camera & ACTION!

Sucked into the world of television
We have all taken part, so please listen

Once we can decipher the real from the fake
Pat your back and help those who make daily mistakes

Assuming their lives can mirror those they glorify
But in reality cannot afford to live like

It's great to aspire then to achieve
But, putting on a faux persona for us to perceive?

Hopefully honest and true, until
A car disappears & the house is for sale
then the truth of your lies tarnishes you

Looking for exposure
in the midst of forclosure

Misconstrued by what you pretended to be true
But in the end the only one abhorrent is you

Halloween Costumes, a ladies choice!

Every year there is a conundrum for the choice of a woman's Halloween costume. A lot of women are able to use Halloween as a good excuse to dress a little risque. We can be sexy cats, night nurses, belly dancers, strippers, sexy cops, french maids, bunny costumes, etc. I know id like to be something attractive but stear away from slutty. So I chose to be Lara Croft!! She is sexy but not slutty and whats hotter than rocking some gun holsters (with water guns of course) and being ready for some action?!

In this day and age there have been several new focuses in our markets. There has also been several focuses that still stand the test of time. These things are infused in our daily lives and continue to make a staple in our worldwide markets.
Health has always been a clear focus with our need to constantly improve and refine our lifestyle. Weight loss has been a focus that will stand the test of time. Both men and women are always in the market for the newest and most effective weight loss help. What our markets are now providing consumers are ways to innovate things such as a weight loss program. By taking the negative stigma of hard work out of the “work out”, we can help people have fun while accomplishing their goals.
A new craze that is now popular for female fitness is pole dancing. Pole dancing class has now become an alternate form of weight loss solutions, rather than the average gym work out. These work outs optimize weight loss on key parts of the body; such as the core (aka the abdomen), thighs, glutes, the upper body and areas you do not normally work on in gym regulated work outs. Pole fitness can be attributed to more than just your physical health. As we are aware, (or should be informed) an increase in daily fitness can also be attributed to female libido enhancement.
Now, if we open our minds we can see that this side effect can do many things to empower women. This can be considered one of many treatments for depression. It’s always the best to have an active lifestyle if you are noticing depression symptoms. Pole fitness can improve intimacy which in itself is its own form of marriage therapy. A lot of people who lack intimacy in their relationships can bring this form of expression into their homes. In these classes a woman can take off the hat she’s wearing whether it is; Mom, teacher, lawyer, realtor, etc. and just be! The work comes out of the “work out” and just becomes somewhat of a pleasure party in which the benefits far outweigh the cost.
For men the benefits may be inadvertent, but for women you can look forward to the weight loss, the increase in health, the enhanced libido, decrease in depression, and experience self-empowerment all in one! All of this while surrounded by positive women who share a common goal! I have had the personal pleasure of taking pole fitness classes with Megan at the Shimmy Dance Studio.